Venezuela Series: martes y miércoles

Tuesday was the day we have been waiting for all year: our first visit to a Venezuelan nucleo.  We spent the afternoon at the Montalban nucleo, on the west side of Caracas.

This nucleo houses 16 different ensemble programs for around 2000 kids between the ages of 3 - 18.  We observed a variety of classes, including general music for the 3-4 year olds, a cello class, a beginning violin class, choir, woodwind and brass sectionals, the youth orchestra string sectional and youth orchestra winds sectional.  

Eight horns for Tchaikovsky 4? Of course!

My main take-away of the day occurred in the beginning violin sectional.  This group of approximately 40 children, somewhere between the ages of 6 - 9, just began their studies four months ago.  Bow holds have been mastered, and after working exclusively with open strings for a few weeks, they have started utilizing the fingerboard.  They are working on the most basic concepts of violin playing, performing very simple tunes.  During the rehearsal of one of these songs, the instructor paused to express to the students the importance of presence and emotion during performance.  She told them, "you need to know how to draw a smile from the audience."  The connection with the audience and the meaning behind why they are playing music is taught to these kids at the same time as the fundamentals of basic musicianship.  It's no wonder why the Simon Bolivar orchestra is so captivating: they learn to convey an energy and a love for what they do from the very beginning.  They know that the performance isn't just about what happens on stage.

Wednesday morning was spent at Caracas' Centro Academico de Luthería, which is the main training school for El Sistema luthiers.  Housed in a vocational school, the workshop is run by El Sistema luthiers who teach students between the ages of 14-26 how to build and repair orchestral and traditional Venezuelan string instruments.  Once the students are certified- which takes an average of two years- they are then hired by El Sistema to either work for one of its 30 existing instrument workshops, or to start a new instrument workshop in an area of the country that doesn't yet have one.

Inside the Centro Academico de Luthería

We got to talk to many of the luthiers and apprentices, who were extremely gracious in sharing their expertise with us.  The highlight of the morning was when four of the luthiers performed for us, which resulted in an impromptu dance lesson for Monique and me (stay tuned for videos once Carlos gets his blog up and running!).

Wednesday afternoon was spent at another branch of the Academico de Luthería.  This particular site is a pilot program in partnership with the Venezuelan Foundation for the Cure of Paralysis.  All twelve students in this nucleo have varying degrees of limb paralysis.  At this center, the students learn how to make and repair bows, as well as complete basic repair on string instruments.  Just as with the other academies, once the students are certified they are employable.  

This partnership is a lovely realization of El Sistema's ability to create equal opportunities for access and inclusion.  The luthier at this shop had never worked with students with physical disabilities; he learned how to do so on the job.  This required him to learn how to do all of his work sitting down, as his students have to do.  He also fashioned special tools to aid his students who have hand impairments, and came up with games and exercises for them to build dexterity in their hands.

It's important to note that the main cause of lower limb paralysis in Venezuela is gunshot wounds, followed by traffic accidents.  Most of the students at this academy received their paralysis through a traumatic experience.  With that in mind, the luthier explained to us that while he is not a therapist, this nucleo serves as a sort of group therapy for the students.  It gives them a supportive social network and a trade.  In alignment with the words of the luthier, all of the students present expressed their joy and gratitude for the opportunity to be involved in the program.  Several of the students travel two hours one-way just to get to the center every day.

What a beautiful embodiment of everyone's favorite fundamental of El Sistema: Every human being has the right to a life of dignity and contribution.

The rest of this week in Caracas includes a meeting with El Sistema's executive director and additional key staff, 3 nucleo visits and endless beauty.  Stay tuned!

I am being spoiled rotten.

Venezuela Series: Day 1

¡Hola!

I'm writing this post safe and sound from the comfort my hotel room in the Euro Building.  Apparently there are a lot of people staying here this week, and all of the twin bed rooms were taken; thus, we each have a room to ourselves during our stay!

Yesterday was a long but exciting day of travel.  We all arrived at Logan Airport around 2:30PM EST.  The exhilaration was already tangible.

Clearly, this is Carlos' "excited" face

Our first flight to Houston was delayed due to snowy and icy conditions, though none of us seemed to care too much: we knew better weather was just around the corner.  I was lucky enough to be seat buddies with the lovely Xochitl Tafoya, with Heath, Monique and Elise just across the aisle.

This was also my last Instagram blast from the US

After a long but smooth flight, we touched down in Houston.  We were looking forward to a mere 3 hour layover since our previous flight had been delayed, but no such luck: the flight to VZ was delayed as well.  Heath kept us entertained with a quiz on the Oscars, which he conveniently happened to win and therefore didn't have to follow up with the prize he was promising.  At around 1AM CST, we were finally en route to Venezuela.

I have no recollection of the flight to Caracas, as I was passed out the entire time.

Upon arriving at the airport and sailing through customs, we were met by the smiling face of Rodrigo Guerrero, El Sistema's International Affairs Officer and personal assistant to Dr. Abreu.  We made the journey from the airport to the hotel in a mammoth-sized van, being completely overwhelmed by the beauty all around us.

The view from my hotel room.  Not bad.

After a nice lunch at the hotel, Rodrigo met us again and took us to Caracas' Center for Social Action Through Music.  This building has only been operating for two years.  Filled with practice rooms, small and large rehearsal spaces, performance venues, masterclass rooms, libraries and computer labs, approximately 2500 kids and young adults utilize this nine-story building every day.

The upper photo is the stage of the Simón Bolívar Hall, which is the largest performance space in the building, seating 800.  The lower photo contains the hall's comfortable and eye-catching seats.  Did I mention that all performances in this space are free?  Oh yeah, and the view from the 9th floor isn't so bad, either.

Is this real life? Who am I to deserve this experience?!

While the nature, architecture and scope of the Center for Social Action is breathtaking in itself, the truest form of beauty happened in our candid discussion with Rodrigo in an office space (which, of course, doubles as a rehearsal room) inside of the building.  We were talking about El Sistema's developing stages of assessment and evaluation to gain hard data revealing the program's success.  Monique asked Rodrigo to speak not of numbers, but what it was that made him believe the program was working in terms of strengthening communities.  He told us a story of a doctor in Barquisimeto who grew up in El Sistema playing the trumpet.  While he did not pursue music as a career, he valued the importance of music and El Sistema in the lives of the people in his community.  Barquisimeto is also home to one of the larger sistema programs for children with special needs, including deaf children.  Over the past several years, this particular doctor has arranged for deaf students from the nucleo to receive cochlear implants FOR FREE.  The doctors and nurses donate their time, and the cochlear implant manufacturers donate the devices.  This is how Rodrigo knows the system is working.  It has nothing to do with improved grades or school attendance (though the numbers do stack up in those categories); it's about the impact sistema has on molding citizens who care about their communities.  It's about creating a culture of love, respect and service.

After only a day, I find myself completely inspired and renewed.  I look forward to the coming days of conversation, observation and pedagogy.  Tochar y luchar!

Peacemaking and First Horn Playing

Throughout the year, the fellows have been lucky enough to receive a series of classes focused on leadership from NEC president Tony Woodcock.  A theme that popped up on a number of occasions in these classes was the concept of leading like a great second horn player.  This obviously resonated with me, not only because I am a horn player, but because the second seat is my favorite.  I love the fourth chair too, but there is just something about sitting second that challenges and inspires me every time.

The main job of the second hornist is to make sure the first hornist sounds like a million bucks.  If the first horn player is 10 cents sharp, the second hornist had better be 10 cents sharp too!  The second hornist must also be able to match the first hornist's note length, volume, articulation, and phrasing.  She must know the first horn part and player intimately.  Eventually the second hornist develops an intuition, and can anticipate how her first horn will play a certain passage.  This perfect union between horns 1 and 2 is also essential for the accuracy in intonation, blend and style for the remaining members of the section.

I'm a second hornist, musically and personally.  I'm uncomfortable in the principal chair.  I've never liked the spotlight.  My favorite thing to do is help other people shine, which would explain why I love teaching so much.  I believe my purpose in life is to love everyone, and in turn to let everyone know that they are loved by someone.  I'm not always successful at this, but I do try my best.

My second horn-ness is apparently noticeable to other people, too.  In a recent group exercise, the fellows had to come up with a word or metaphor to describe each person's role within the group.  Some people ended up with cool metaphors like "Galileo" and "Friendly Wise Goose" (100 points to you if you can figure out who that is!).  Mine was simple: "Peacemaker."  This made me incredibly happy.  That's exactly who I want to be, not just in the fellowship, but throughout all aspects of my life.

The next task of this same exercise was to come up with a word or metaphor representing a quality of which the fellows would like to see more from each person.  My amigos were trying to think of some way to express that they wanted me to feel free to stir things up a little more often, rather than always keeping the peace.  My dear fellow Diogo found a way to express this with which everyone agreed: "More first horn!"

This fit in with the theme of this year: step out of your comfort zone and do something completely different.  How do I do this?  How do I continue to embody my second horn harmonious and peacemaking values while not being afraid to take the lead and set the tone every now and then?  There was a point in time in my life when I played a lot of first horn (literally and figuratively).  I liked it then, and thought I was doing a good job.  Looking back, I was actually doing a terrible job and had no idea what I was doing.  What can I change now to make sure that I know I'm doing it well?

As I embark on this journey to Venezuela, I feel like I am further out of my comfort zone than ever.  I'm getting ready to go to South America for the first time, to a country where I don't speak the language, all the while trying to figure out my role in Sistema in the US as a musician, educator and leader.  I'm equally excited and nervous.  I can only hope to come home with a heightened sense of clarity and purpose (and a completed lecture-recital text, but that's another topic entirely).  Perhaps all of these exciting and unfamiliar experiences will help me channel my inner first horn, too.

Getting Comfortable in the Grey Space

Today's post is a bit of a change of pace.  It's not a direct report on all things music and sistema, but instead a more detailed and honest look at the scary inner workings of my brain.

I'm an all-or-nothing thinker.  I always have been, and probably always will be.  All-or-nothing thinking (also known as polarized thinking) consists of looking at things in absolute, black-and-white categories with no middle ground.  It's sort of the "second place is the first loser" mentality; you're either perfect, or you're nothing.

I'm acutely aware that polarized thinking is my default setting, for better or for worse.  Though it may sound like an unhappy place to be mentally, it does have its usefulness- it keeps me working really, really hard all of the time.  I want to be a horn player.  I want to be an El Sistema program director.  I want to be a teacher.  I want to be a scholar.  I want to be an innovative, entrepreneurial musician.  I want to have it all, and I want to do all of it extremely well.  I never want to be anything but perfect, because anything less is failure.  (As an aside, this is why my blog posts are so sparse.  Try to find a typo in any of my entries.  I dare you.)

The other fellows and I are all considering many great opportunities for next year.  Some are concrete employment options with other candidates applying for the same position.  Others are really great projects waiting to be realized, currently only existing in theoretical space.  Additional part time jobs are available, allowing ample time for freelancing and other music making.  All are great options, and all allow us to follow our passion.  However, at this point in time, none of these are black and white opportunities; they are all in grey space.  Grey space doesn't exist in my default setting.  With all of these grey options, how can I be expected to make a decision? More urgently, how can I get through the anxiety of the next several months caused by not knowing where I will end up?

This is my biggest struggle this year. As a black and white thinker, I don't do well with theoretical opportunities or with having to wait and see what happens. Grey space makes my skin crawl, my heart race, and my brain speed into overdrive.  I'm a fairly spontaneous person, but when it comes to my career I want solid and stable answers.  Grey space makes me feel like I am directionless, like I will not be able to accomplish anything if everything remains unclear and undecided. 

I haven't come up with any magic answer for this yet.  I'm trying to be patient and take the advice of wise people. I received a particularly useful nugget of wisdom from President Obama's inauguration speech on MLK day: "We must act, knowing that our work will be imperfect." Another wise (though slightly less famous) man, Rey Ramirez from Soundscapes in Newport News, provided the Breaking the Fourth Wall conference attendees with these words of hope in Philadelphia: "We're changing the world just by being here."

Grey space has come up in conversation a number of times lately, ranging from career goals to cultural considerations to personal life.  Though it's uncomfortable for me, I'm learning that most situations are nowhere close to black-and-white; there is usually an infinite amount of grey space in between, leaving plenty of room to celebrate small victories, learn from minor setbacks, and give people the benefit of the doubt.

So, the wait continues. We are all working hard to figure out where we will end up six months from now, while simultaneously striving to build community through love and music. We're getting as comfortable as we can, believing that the world can be improved even when we're operating from the depths of the grey spaces.  

Residency Series: Chicago

From October 14 - November 10, I will be spending time in Chicago, Los Angeles, Austin, and DC.  The purpose of this residency is multifaceted, but the primary focus is a complete immersion in el sistema- inspired programs in the United States.  Today's blog is a reflection on my time at the YOURS Project in Chicago.

Sometimes, Multiple Personality Disorder is a Good Thing

It can be difficult to describe sistema work.  We love to use phrases like "using music as a vehicle for social change," or "social change through music education."  These all sound great, but was does that really mean?  Are we social service organizations?  Are we conservatories?  Are we childcare centers?  And, what are our goals?  Are we producing the next generation of concertmasters and soloists?  Are we just trying to keep kids off the street?  Are we helping kids graduate from high school and have productive futures?

Here's the simple answer: Yes.

We have multiple personality disorder.

And, you know what?  That's awesome.  Let me tell you why.

Let's start our journey down the dissociative identity trail at the People's Music School in Chicago's Uptown neighborhood.  This organization has provided free music instruction for Chicago's youth since 1975.  People's Music School has multiple personality disorder.  It has two branches: onsite programming, conducted at PMS' building in Uptown; and offsite programming, under the auspices of the YOURS Project.  Onsite programming focuses on private/small group lessons, music theory and composition.  YOURS teaches nearly exclusively through group instruction.  Onsite programming occurs 3 days a week; YOURS project, 5 days a week.  

Both programs offer free music education to Chicago's children.  They have slightly different ways of doing it.  Is that a bad thing?  No!  Are you kidding me?  People's Music School is offering two different options in order to best suit the needs of the greatest number of children and families!  That's brilliance!

Let's focus now on YOURS, where I spent the majority of my time.  I had the opportunity to meet with the entire teaching staff, including nucleo directors and teaching artists.  I led discussion over two different sessions on the question, "What is el sistema?"  Here is a random sampling of responses:

-making classical music accessible to everyone

-time intensive and teacher intensive

-fostering self-esteem

-giving kids tools for their lives; home, school, relationships, etc

-self-confidence

-teamwork

-teaching kids to respect each other, realizing everyone has something to learn and to give

-group learning

-teaching the kids to work hard to achieve goals

-allowing music to be the medicine for the soul

-saving lives and learning to be better human beings through music

-goal of musical excellence

-provides a way to channel expression

-foster interest in classical music

Are there distinct social goals there?  Of course.  How about distinct musical goals?  You bet.

During the Logan Square staff meeting, nucleo director Tom Madeja asked his teaching artists what they wanted to focus on with the children for the remainder of 2012.  Responses included:

-greater literacy and reading music

-create Logan Square method for teaching how to read music

-increase sense of belonging; making it fun

-creating a sense of accountability as a group within the students

-performance opportunities

Musical goals? Check.  Social goals? Check.  

The staff has multiple personality disorder.

I also interviewed two YOURS students, asking them why they liked coming to the YOURS project:

Answer 1 (Jonathan, 9 years old): "Mostly, it's a great opportunity to learn.  It's a free education.  Most schools don't get this."

Answer 2 (Xochitl, 10 years old): "That you can learn to play new instruments that you didn't know before.  They teach us new songs that we can play and show....orchestra rocks!"

Management, teaching artists and students realize that this program is multifaceted.  It's about teaching children of their own worth through musical excellence.  It's about love, joy and song.  I would argue that what makes People's and YOURS stand out is that they are giving the pursuit of musical excellence a greater purpose, making the goal more meaningful and desirable.  This multiple personality disorder is a critical element of the program's success.  To focus on only one of the two primary goals would be doing a disservice to the children.  Is it a bad thing to have multiple personalities if both work in tandem to create a better world?  

With Our Powers Combined...

I am extremely fortunate to be constantly surrounded by a multitude of remarkable people.  I could speak so much about the magnificence of all of my friends, and how the world is made better by all of their unique gifts.  Today, however, I want to focus on one of the most important relationships in my life.  This blog is about my friend Gary, a high school band director in Virginia.

Gary and I met on the first day of band camp freshman year at James Madison University (JMU).  We were both entering the horn studio at JMU, and became friends instantly.  We have been major players in each other's lives ever since.

Back in 2007, when I had red hair and Gary...looked exactly the same as he does now.

I admire Gary for so many reasons.  On a personal note, he is one of the most caring, loyal, and loving friends on the planet.  I could go on and on about how phenomenal of a companion he is, but that wouldn't really fit into the scope of this blog, so I'll get to the point: Gary is one of the most exceptional band directors I've ever seen.  He truly cares about the well-being of his students.  He takes the time to learn about each student inside and out- their strengths, weaknesses, home life, hobbies, goals and dreams.  He receives a loving respect from them, most likely a product of his caring nature.  His rehearsals are the definition of intensity, and he holds his students to an extremely high standard.  The kids wouldn't have it any other way, due to the level of motivation and empowerment he fosters within them.  Oh yeah, and he's a pretty killer musician too.

Gary definitely goes above and beyond the call of duty of a teacher.  Since I entered the sistema world, I've often thought about how great of an el sistema- inspired program director Gary would be.  Lately though, I've realized that this is not only an incorrect thought, but in fact a mindset that may hurt rather than help our favorite cause of "social change through music" (expect a later blog post on what the heck that phrase even means...).

Sometimes, we in the sistema world can unintentionally appear overly righteous.  It's understandable how this could happen, as we are all so passionate about the work we do.  I can also understand how it's possible to come across in this light to other music educators, as aside from using public schools as program sites, most sistema programs end up functioning separately from in-school music programs.  This is incredibly unfortunate and counterproductive, as mutually beneficial partnerships could be created to further enhance the students' experiences, therefore producing a greater impact on their lives.  If these two entities continue to remain separate, we are depriving our kids and ourselves of the greatest possible positive impact.  My point is, instead of thinking that Gary would be better suited for the sistema world since he embodies so many sistema qualities, I should be grateful that a teacher like Gary is in the public school realm, reaching students in the school system the way that I hope to reach them in the civic sector.  We are doing the same work; we are merely traveling down different paths to get the work done.  The qualities that shape great sistema leaders are the same qualities that shape great teachers.  

Gary is a phenomenal teacher.  His kids are beyond lucky to have him.  Those students are just as deserving of a great teacher as kids in sistema programs.  Imagine if Gary's kids had the good fortune to be in his band and in a sistema-inspired program.  Imagine if kids in a sistema-inspired program were also blessed to have the opportunity to learn from Gary.  Imagine if all kids were lucky enough to receive in-school and after-school music education from teachers who love music and believe in the capability of every child to live a life of dignity and integrity.

Whoa.

Sistema educators hope to instill within their students the ability to create and embrace community, to work together towards a common goal, to mentor, to inspire, to achieve greatness.  As leaders, we must exemplify these qualities by working with the existing music education culture, not separate from it.  I'm still figuring out my role in the grand scheme of positively affecting the lives of our nation's youth through love and music, but I can tell you for certain that if I end up creating my own sistema-inspired program near Gary's school, I want us to be on the same team.  It would be a disservice to the kids in my program to be so near an extraordinary educator and mentor and not to have access to him.  I know that he and I could find a way to create a sustainable and empowering partnership.  In a field that would not exist without optimism and idealism, why not believe that both entities can work together to create a better world?

*********************************************************************************

p.s.: When I let Gary approve this entry before posting it, he said, "I've never thought about what I do like that. I just do what I think will benefit the students most long-term; using every bit of information I have to make what I hope is the best decision."
Thanks, Gary, for proving my point :)

Crooked and Wide

The day I switched my major at James Madison University from music education to music performance, I started defining success as being principal horn in a major orchestra by the time I was 25.  My attitude about this was all-or-nothing; I either made it to the top, or I didn't make it at all. Perhaps the most disturbing part is that I actually thought this was a realistic goal and would be relatively simple to accomplish. 'After all,' I thought, 'I'm a really hard worker and everyone keeps telling me that I'm good at the horn, so I'm sure something will work out.'

Well, here's how my life's path has gone since then:

Complete BM

I

Work at Retail Clothing Store

I

Start MM; Have a Breakdown

I

Abandon MM; Consider Career Switch

I

Work at Coffee Shop; Wallow in Self-Loathing

I

Restart MM; Still Consider Career Switch

I

Complete MM; Start DMA; Teach a Little; Freelance a Little; Discover el Sistema

I

Continue DMA; Build a Horn Studio; Freelance in 3 States; Volunteer at Sistema Programs

I

Move to Boston for Sistema Fellowship

I

????

My 20-year-old self (or even my 25-year-old self, for that matter) would look at this path and think that my almost-28-year-old self is a complete failure.  I'm not a principal hornist in ANY orchestra, much less a major one.  I'm still in school, for crying out loud!  I haven't achieved perfection on my instrument.  I have to work several different jobs to sustain myself.  What have I done with my life?  Did I just give up?  When did I become a quitter?

This type of thinking beat me down for a long time.  I wanted a straight and narrow path, one that would lead me directly into that highly-paid orchestra seat.  Every time I was thrown a curve ball, I didn't even attempt to swing at it; instead, I berated myself for not being able to magically will the powers-that-be on the mound to toss me an easy pitch.  I felt lost, confused, and completely unsure of myself.

It wasn't until about six months ago that I finally hit a breaking point with this type of thinking.  I was drowning and had to find a way to come up for air.  This wasn't an easy process, and it still isn't.  However, I've learned that when things don't work out the way we planned, our perception of our own lives can become so distorted that it is completely unreliable.  Instead of trusting my thoughts, I'm learning to trust only the facts.  That being said, here are the current facts of my life:

-I am a performer, teacher and scholar.

-Though I am FAR from rich, I am able to sustain myself solely through teaching and playing music.

-In a year's time, people will have to call me Dr. Hockenberry (or more likely, Dr. Rachie).

-My music has taken me all over the US, to several countries in Europe, and soon to South America.

-I actively strive to create social change through music education and performance.

-I have found other passions besides music, and have given myself the permission to enjoy them.

When I look at the facts, is it actually realistic to think that I have failed?  I don't even WANT to be a principal horn player any more- if life ever leads me into a full-time orchestra gig, I want the 2nd or 4th seat.  More importantly, when my life was solely focused on being the best horn player ever, I was profoundly unhappy.  I am significantly happier maintaining the eclectic musical lifestyle I lead today.  I'm not saying that those who take the direct route to the orchestra are in the wrong whatsoever; I'm just saying that, to my surprise, it ended up being the wrong path for me.  It was scary to admit that, but the mere act of admitting it turned out to be the hardest part.  Once I became honest with myself, things fell into place faster than I ever could have expected.

Sometimes, the best thing we can do for ourselves is redefine what 'success' really means.  It is so easy to think that we have failed when things don't work out the way we planned.  What we must realize is that the path is rarely straight and narrow; more often than not, it's crooked and wide.  What's important is that we give ourselves the permission to follow our path wherever it may take us, and embrace the journey.  I'm not saying this is easy- in fact, I still struggle with it almost daily, especially any time I add another roundabout in the middle of my path.  When this happens though, all we need to do is ask ourselves one question: Am I happy in the direction I'm headed?  If the answer is yes, then look before you merge and keep on driving.  If the answer is no, then don't be afraid to alter the course.